Hellboy II: The Golden Army

it's always grueling for a comic book reader/fan like myself to try and watch a superhero movie. the characters and their stories are never completely transferred over when a big movie production movie decides to take that intellectual property and create something they think would appeal to a mass audience in order to recoup costs and to profit immensely. one tragedy, albeit a great movie, is Wanted. i downloaded the original mark millar comic series the other nite and spent some time getting through the 8 issues or so. whereas 300 was 99% like Frank Miller's original comic, Wanted is 99% not like Mark Millar's creation. (according to algie, he was paid handsomely to let them). there are a few things in Wanted that are similar but the comic is a whole different animal about the same guy who becomes a supervillain and there's no curving of bullets, he's just a natural born killer.

back to Hellboy II: The Golden Army, the plot revolves around Hellboy (for an explanation on who he is and where he comes from click here) who likes beer and pancakes, oh, and he works for the B.P.R.D., a secret government agency that deals with all things paranormal. he's big, red, gruff, and has a huge right fist for punching paranormal baddies. in this second movie, we delve deeper into the world beneath the one that humans only know and find a whole kingdom of other beings. Prince Nuada had exiled himself after the long-forgotten truce between the humans and elves... he's back and ready to lead the non-humans in a war to reclaim the world. To do that, he seeks the power to control the Golden Army which, built by goblin smiths and indestructible, were golems that laid waste to human race until the truce made by the compassionate elven king, Nuada's father. big secret, he eventually activates the golden army. part of the movie also centers on hellboy's dreams of exposing the truth to mass society and trying to co-exist and maybe be a hero to all the people that don't know theyre being protected everyday by him. the movie does a decent job depicting the prejudices big red encounters when his dreams are finally realized.

the plot of the movie kind of sucks. ill be the first to say it because the stories written by Mike Mignola in the comics were already so good. after a few scenes in the beginning, it was clear what was going to happen at the end of the movie. penning a whole new script for the sake of attracting a new movie-going audience is not necessary. im a big traditionalist when it comes to comic book movie adaptations (ex. hate any and all batmans between 2 and begins). dont get me started with the love between red and liz sherman(Selma Blair), thats just for the movie-goers, there is no such thing in the comics. hellboy fails me with its plot, but what it does best is capturing who the characters really are. Ron Perlman plays big red magnificently, he's hard and gruff but there is a part of him underneath that cares for others and is important because he's prophecized to be the hellbringer, an internal struggle the character constantly has to deal with.
abraham sapien is my favorite character in the movie. he's intelligent and well-meaning and is much more fleshed out as a main character in this sequel. the best scene in the entire movie involves a drunken karaoke with abe and red. on the other hand, selma blair is not good. her acting consisted of three things, angry, pouty, and some kind of sweet lovingness. usually, thats not bad, but she never makes the character stand out on its own, liz sherman is always reacting to some outside stimuli.

the visuals are where its at with hellboy2. director guillermo del toro is of Pan's Labyrinth fame, which won oscars for best art direction, cinematography, and makeup. he is a master of creating dark fantasy worlds with hosts of indescribable that inhabit them. i cannot wait to see his work on the upcoming tolkien Hobbit movies, pan's labyrinth was a visual masterpiece. in this, del toro's fantasy world and people are just as good as they ever were. the troll market was like entering mos eisley for the first time and stepping into someone's vivid and untapped imagination.

i had a real problem with the soundtrack and score for this movie. outside of the singing scene with red and abe (amazing), everything else really annoyed me. the rock songs that segued/transitioned between changes of scenery were too loud and always started a little late and too abruptly. too much attention was paid to how the movie looked and not how it sounded.

overall, this is a decent summer movie. its not a comic book movie masterpiece, but its not really that bad if you're not expecting the greatest experience ever (save that for the new batman!). if you're torn between Hancock and Hellboy this summer, i'd say give hellboy a shot, hancock has will smith but hellboy is at least based on a proven comic book character and looks great.

good: visuals, hellboy, abraham sapien
bad: selma blair, predictable cookie-cutter plot

How to Fix the Economy

Force each investment bank / higher education institution / branch of government to transfer 5 of its top performers to form a new branch of government to fix the problem, with the stipulation that they will return to their old jobs with additional bonus from the government if they get it done within 2 years.

Each govt representative pairs with one higher ed rep to get a crash course on how the economy actually works, and they brainstorm with 5 i-bank quantitative analysts crunching numbers 120 hours a week to support/refute/provide feedback on any proposals.

Think Manhattan Project on steroids and cocaine.

I can guarantee that we will get results.

kung-fu panda

Image via Wikipedia the name Kung Fu Panda really makes a person feel like its another dumb movie made just for kids, but hey... its dreamworks and they made shrek, one of my favorite animated movies of all time. i had heard good things about the movie from everyone that's seen it, so july 4th was as good a day as any other to go check it out.

the plot involves a fat panda bear named Po who loves kungfu, but is stuck working in his family's noodle shop. after being chosen to fulfill a prophecy, fat Po's dreams of learning kungfu come true as he joins china's greatest masters in training. there's a baddie that believes he should be the one to fulfill the prophecy and he's coming back to take what he believes is his, and Po eventually, as the chosen one, fight him. moral of the story? (SPOILER!!!) true power is inside oneself.

the visuals in the movie are really good. like in shrek, dreamworks does its usual great job of rendering lifelike animal characters and backgrounds. additionally, the opening scene in the movie itself is one of the most gorgeous in any animated movie yet. its not super hi-tech or anything but is more of an artistic rendition of Po's dreams of being a kungfu master in the style of Okami.

the music of the movie was... chinesey. its sorta the usual fare with any movies for white people about chinese culture type of music. it wasnt bad or anything. on the other hand, the voice acting was superb. jack black is pretty perfect for the role of Po because he's sorta the same kind of character in real life, a fat, lovable, galoot. in addition to Po, there are a buttload of big name actors. in addition to black, there's dustin hoffman (as master shifu... which kinda means master master cuz shifu means master...), angelina jolie (as tigress), jackie chan (as monkey, so very fitting...), seth rogen (as mantis), lucy liu (as viper), david cross (as crane), michael clarke duncan, kyle gass (the other half of TENACIOUS D), wayne knight (newman!), and the greatest asian american-cinema actor of all, James Hong (as Po's father). its an all-star voice acting class.

overall, this movie is fantastic. the story is good, the voice acting superb, and its really really funny for all ages. its even better because i was expecting it to be bad when i first heard about it. go catch this movie if you can, and if you gotta wait... try to get it on blu-ray, its a beautiful movie.


good: very funny, great voice-acting, great animation
meh: music was not inspiring

wall-e

disney pixar is the probably in the top 5 best things to ever happen in the history of civilization. it all started with toy story (1995), then came toy story 2 (1999), monsters inc. (2001), finding nemo (2003), ratatouille (2007), a few others that are great but not on the same level, and now in 2008 they bring us Wall-E.

wall-e is essentially a story about a lonely robot who is one of many wall-e robots left on earth to clean up the mess humans have made of the world, this one particular robot is apparently the only one still functional and its much more than just a robot. the humans, during more than 700 years waiting and relaxing in space, have become fat boobs that no longer require the use of their own limbs to move around or do anything but eat, sleep, and talk on the videophone. ironically, humans have lost what makes them human and the robot wall-e is more human that anyone or anything because he yearns for more than complacency. wall-e is very much like will smith's i am legend character in that he has no real companions other than his pet (cockroach in this movie) and is the only person around to clean up the mess set forth by the movie. eventually, wall-e meets eve who is a super high-tech robot who has come from the human mothership to look for any signs of vegetation, so that the human race can return to an earth thats a little less messy.

the first 30 minutes of the movie actually dont involve any dialogue, its really cool that this direction was taken because it shows that conversations are very inconsequential to our understanding of what is going on and where the movie may be going. as usual, disney/pixar has created a movie where grownups and children can enjoy the same visual jokes but on different levels. most kids probably dont know what a rubik's cube is, or why an ipod in the movie is funny, but everyone definitely has a good laugh at the very well done utensil joke. the plot is good, its pretty simple sci-fi stuff and its well executed. wall-e is a great protagonist because he feels. he can be lonely, sad, happy, brave, timid... more than those in the movie, he is everything humans are and more, while only capable of beeping out three words.

the visuals and score for the movie are good for what it is. its not the best anyone has ever seen, mostly because so much of the movie is spent on a dust-storm covered earth and inside a neon infused spacecraft, both of which do not have the same visual appeal that nature itself has. the best visual portion of the movie is when wall-e and eve are moving around in space, but thats only a small percentage of the movie. additionally, its also not a leap above the animation in previous movies such as finding nemo or ratatouille. aurally, the music can be described as ... whimsical. its about a robot that acts human, its good, not breathtaking, but its expected.

overall, this is a movie that should be seen in theaters, its worth the 10bux to see it with other people on the big screen. its really great to experience scenes where everyone in the theater, children included, are laughing at the same joke. this movie doesnt quite crack my top3 or even top5 animated movies of all time, but its still really good.


good: nice plot, all the robots, fat babies
bad: not everyone would let themselves get so fat, forcing message on me to take care of the earth...